And then there was one

As long as my cutlery (American:  silverware) performs its intended function of transferring the bacon and eggs off my plate to my mouth, I don’t give it a whole lot of thought.  One set I vaguely recall buying at IKEA a few years ago, and the majority has been handed down to me from goodness knows where, or when.  I do know, or at least I can confidently assume, that my spoons, knives and forks were once purchased as part of a set.  In other words, at some historical moment in time, they matched up in a ratio of approximately 1:1:1.

So it is with surprise and increasing concern that during each weekly (so sue me) dishwashing ritual, I notice the ratio increasing – 1:2:2, then 1:3:3, 1:4:4 … my spoons and forks presenting themselves in roughly equal, and perfectly adequate, numbers, while the quantity of knives drops, and drops, till the present day, which finds me washing “the knife” before each meal, and guarding it jealously in between courses.

I don’t like to think of myself as the kind of person who would think that strangers are breaking in to his house to steal his tableware, but I see no other reasonable explanation.  I can only hope that the perps are gypsies  (PC:  Roma), their crystal ball predicting fame and fortune in my future, and planning therefore to pay for carriage maintenance by auctioning my used knives in the eBay Celebrities Auction.

Fame and fortune … mmm.  Dancing with the Stars, tossing unopened pistachios, dating Sharon Stone … here I come.


One Response to “And then there was one”

  1. susan Says:

    Interesting…it is our spoons that always disappear. Enjoyed your ending!

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